All I want for xmas

So they have started the Christmas songs and movies and all I feel is major depression – I'm about to do something I ever and only rarely do which is curse

But truth is I fucking hate Christmas in this depressed country and it doesn't help that I was home last year, but this truly fucking sucks

Never mind that at home all I do is go to church and chill with my family and friends, but it's just me and my brother here and everywhere u go, u feel like a fucking third wheeler

I just hate it here, it's cold – which over here is supposed to be good for xmas and all people do Is shop and complain about the family they are going to see

Arrrrrrrggggghhhhh shit men

All I want is to be loved and be with the ones I love

We never shared gifts back home, I mean we got new clothes (I love new clothes) and my family isn't big on the immediate family shindigs, I guess no one had a big enuff house to host everyone but there is sumn about love, being with the ones you love, that love and being safe (lol, that seems ironic, cos most will say Naij isn't safe especially during the holidays) but u get my point

I agree with RocNaija – "women so complicated" (umm dude u still need to explain that from the last post o) – I think I'm about to be me on my period (lol, I know so gross)

But yea I'm depressed and right now I wish I drank – a long island iced tea would be damn skippy right now

So in the meantime I'm going to watch hallmark channel Christmas movies and try to focus on what xmas really is – which is the birth of my Lord and savior

The one who made me and gave me this job and so even if I can't go home now I know it's for a purpose – because I know he wants me to take my possession in this land of his

Which reminds me my dad wants me to start planning an Oprah takeover – he is so happy she is planning to end her career then cos he thinks by then I'll be ready to show the world, this charm and personality he thinks I have that is great enough for tv – Oprah kind status tv – lol and don't you dare agree o blogsville, don't you dare agree and put ideas in my head, I'm still trying to write a book and let me tell you that's not going so well – so no don't you dare say this is a good thing

Again have I told u how much I love u lately – I can't believe you loved the poem – really did you love the poem tho? Or just supporting your girl? Nways sha I love you still, and so that means if I'm in a good mood I could write better and you will love it – lol, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lol, I am a 23 yr old child

Nways hope you all having a great weekend – please be safe and o try to volunteer this thanksgiving and not just stuff food in your mouth – and take time to really thank God for all his beautiful blessings including your beautiful faces…

Gist – my one ex calls after 2 years (p.s. he reads the blog, lol) and the one ex said I inspired his new company – I feel awesome, lol – just to say no matter how much I was hurt at the time, as long I composed myself well, I can hold my head high and that's good enuff for me

Take care guys…

U rock my socks

p.s. I love you