Nothingness

I'm sad… I don't know why, I wish I did – but I'm sad – I was thinking maybe it was cos I didn't get this one job I applied for – truth be told, I was wary about it, would have done it if I had gotten but I also never thought it was worth crying over – the job would have required me to be here 4 years and if you don't know, then I'm telling you – me I am going back to my country, this country is not for me – definitely there is a convenience and luxury of being here but this place is not for me – I feel like I'm drying up being here – not like there is anything in naija other than my folks and friends, but my heart is always there – nways that and I'm loving being with the best friend 24/7, we don't always do anything and still we have the best times – needless to say, that's not why I'm sad – so here's hoping that it leaves me soon

So my sister was telling me about some 23yr old boy that is trying to talk to her – me I instantly said no, she said o she doesn't even like him and I was breathing a sigh of relief – my sister is 18 btw – I love to brag about her, cant believe I have never told you all about her – known as bold and beautiful, this is our future lawyer, already in her 3^rd yr in lag, she is skinny as shit tho, I so hate her – she is always saying she will readily exchange bodies, lol – but I thank God for her life really, God has been good to her – she is a December baby too – nways I said no to a guy 5yrs older, because truth be told I myself I'm just getting my head wrapped the idea of dating someone 5yrs older – I am not attracted to older guys period, I just don't see the attraction – especially naija guys, they make that generational gap too obvious – besides my 1^st boyfriend I think I was 14, it lasted all of 2 weeks – I liked boys and all but my next boyfriend wasn't until I was 20 – so I personally don't think for her 2^nd relationship ever, she should be dating someone 5ys older, he works and everything – she is in Unilag so you know the next thing is hearing some people talk trash about her – and maybe cos I waited to date, my brother did, my last born @ 16 hasn't ever dated – my rules on dating are much more different from most people –best friend says I'm being overprotective – I don't think so, I will say the same thing to anyone, its why I hate when 18yr old girls are crying over boys, even @ 20 I want to slap them – but I am different and weird and special, so I'm not judging anyone – I'm just saying – what do you think guys?

Speaking of boys and relationships – can you believe the stores are now all red and pink, talking about valentine day…..twitter crush hates the mere mention of val's day. He just doesn't see why people are talking about it now…I agree with him, I love the movies that come with it, but maybe cos of my lack of relationships – I only remember one vals day ever( Ibadan days) – I couldn't care less, I just think it's another commercialized holiday that they use to make money in America – for any future man in my life, let it be known u will not be gaining points by doing anything special on this day – infact if you want to make me happy, do something like a week before – totally unexpected, genuine and sweet – cos otherwise I just want to watch a movie on that day and like me and the best friend are doing this year– enjoy myself @ the spa

Speaking of as you can tell, I am the most unromantic female eveeerrr and I keep trying to think of what a romantic day will be for me – I think it depends on the season – if it's the winter/spring, then it's easy cos it's a day that involves me going to see either the all star game, the Super bowl or any of the playoffs, Arsenal game in London or Australian Open Tennis Match, preferably where I get to see Andy Roddick or Serena Williams – anything else you do is jara, and I will love you eternally …..Yes I am that easy, add some suya or good steak and let's go shoe/lingerie shopping (I'll pay I don't care) and I will be your slave forever …. Summer season – the only sports will be the US Open (Tennis); the only other thing that will come to mind is travelling somewhere, anywhere and trying something new – like a cooking class or sumn – that's romantic enough right? I am not totally weird – my friend called me an ungirly girl – cos well he asked about moisturizing cream & I didn't know what that meant – isn't cream cream? Abi

Lmao, so my friend sent me this – Enjoy guys –

"Every Feb 14th men get the chance to display their love and affection for the woman in their life but secretly guys feel left out, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life now there is. March 20th is now officially steak, blow job, good sex and shut the fuck up day. It's a simple effective and self explanatory holiday. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town just a steak, a blow job, sum good sex and a day where women shut the fuck up. The word is already spreading, but like any new idea, it needs a little push to get the ball rolling so spread the word!"

Lol, that was too funny – nways I am going to the kitchen – black bean sauce for my stir – fry coming up – maybe that will make me feel better – plus I haven't read a novel since I started writing so I'm hoping I can finish one tonight and get over the spell

Muah

Xxxxx

P.S. I LOVE YOU