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Couldn't think of a name, kinda out of it today. I'm grateful for spring break coming up next week, i will be away for ten days, no phone, no mails, nothing, just me and a few good books including school books (have two exams when i get back), doing a lot of cooking, not so much eating (i really do not like food sha, such a shame) and hopefully sneak in some fun somewhere in there.

How rude of me, HI GUYS. How are you all doing? Special shoutout to the new followers, i appreciate it. Which brings me to the start of this post....

I always feel bad, when i get people follow me after a Praise Thursday, cos i know on Monday i'm going to be talking about something bad and i imagine that they are always disappointed. I have this theory that my really good Christian followers pray to God on my behalf that if he were to come for me it will be on a Praise Thursday day so i don't miss Heaven.

I look horrible and i mean straight up ugly when i cry. I saw that face this morning and it instantly stopped me from crying. God forbid that anyone gets to see this face. I'm the kind who doesn't look so bad when i wake up in the morning, i don't look bad when i'm angry unlike my mom and my two siblings(you do not want to see this face, again straight up ugly) and i don't look bad when i'm sad/sullen(my other sister, just mad ugly) so it was a shock to me men. Another reason why no one will be in the room with me when i'm delivering, no jokes.

Another Pastor told my mom i'm getting married this year - 4th person in 6months. I'm officially scared. My poor mother, i can't wait to relieve her of this stress, its not been an easy year for her so far and i can only just watch. God please lift her load. I and my siblings have lived on the benevolence of people, strangers and friends alike for 7 months now. I think we have maxed out gan. Again Thank you so much, i appreciate you.

So i was mad sexually frustrated last week, like it was horrible. I was ready to jump anyone that was willing. Which reminds me, I don't know that i have the strength to stay celibate if BB and i are in the same place guys. You know how it is in long distances, you go visit and stay with him/her. I need to stay celibate and yet we have to see, so how does this work? Our physical thing is as strong as the relationship we have if not stronger. O i got to see him for a couple hours this weekend and i finally got kissed after 7months, it was wonderful and i can say unequivocally that i am an awesome kisser, top ten in the business really, lol. Right there was ready to strip by the way. So any pointers on how to stay celibate guys?

My friend told me the other day "I have accepted the situation". For some reason that meant a lot to me. It wasn't that there was a need for approval, but there was a need for acceptance, that even though i might be doing the wrong thing and knowing that all you want is to protect me from any hurt, you can still just accept me and the situation.

I do the ultimate most guys, like i go far and beyond for the ones i love. I make it happen, employ all my resources(mostly human resources)....oooo quick sidebar - I know people, who know people, who know people, as in, i can't shout(Thank YOU so much). In any case, i wondered yesterday if i was this way because i want to be needed, and hoping that whoever i help feels indebted to me forever and remains loyal, like i'm buying their affection you know. This is totally rhetorical by the way, so ignore.

If only i were able to fix my problems, like i am able to fix/solve everybody else's problem. I need a miracle before Thursday and no one to turn to. God please send me a divine helper.

I wondered why i had so many bbm contacts and only talk to like 5, until yesterday when i needed my Jand connects. I literally woke people up to help me and was able to figure it out. Never cut ties guys, except you totally have to.

I have cut all connections with my dad, such a shame but it is what it is.

Thats about it guys, wishing you a blessed rest of the week. Enjoy the song below

P.S I LOVE YOU