Memory Lane

I find myself currently going down a rather disturbing and long walk through memory lane and its annoying me…it all started cos I found out that this guy I used to have a huge crush on is all wifeyed up…not surprising, but you know all this crushes you have, that you just kinda think you are the best person for them and can change their lives….lol, I said I was hurt but my best friend guy goes I was just jealous…lol…uhmm I have never been jealous a day in my life, but he might have some merit……HE don't kill me, when you see this, I luff you…..lol….so I came up with a theory….like I always do, Freud would call it a defense mechanism – specifically rationalization……he might be right…..

This is my theory -I think memory lane should be a path less travelled - for it must mean your future ain't so bright….let me explain

We should all be looking to the future, especially at our young ages….looking forward to families we will have, the careers we will have, our travels, triumphs and joys….even at an old age, we might look to the past to reminisce, but the future should be about leaving a legacy on earth and enjoying the time we have left on earth….

Does this make sense?

I'm about to be 23 and if I am looking backward to a relationship that never was, it must mean that I am not so sure or confident that I will find that same "love" in the future you know…or be successful or be happy and uhmmm that's just all kind of wrong…..

Truth is I am looking forward to my future and I am being cocky only because I believe in God when I say it will be fantabulous… lol…. I am looking forward to exploring that love I keep "dreaming" and fantasizing about…I'm looking forward to being a wife and a mother, sister, friend and daughter still and an example to those around me, an embodiment of change, a doer not a talker, making a difference in Nigeria and rich…..hahhahhaha

Lol….that's my two cents for today….. I have been very emotional this past week, but I think I might have just been pmsing really bad….which will be a first…. I am beginning to doubt that any emotion expressed or felt this week was because I actually felt something but rather my hormones were just over- racing…..AWKWARD….lol

So operation skinny bitch is going well, although I took a break today only because I will be doing a 5k breast cancer walk tomorrow…..whoop whoop…in this Houston sun sha, I hope I don't die…..o btw, so my butt is growing….. I really thought I will lose it in the process of exercising but it's the opposite…. I will put a pic up, but I'm shy…..some 15lbs to go….I'm excited

Countdown to the birthday begins o…..Scorpio babies' rock…..lol….shoutout to all my October babies and bloggers…..imma try and make my 50^th post coincide with that day, but I doubt it….lol…..and the unveiling to my new body will be that week….hopefully I remain consistent with the dieting and the exercising….

How r u folks, wat it do? Hope you are all staying blessed….God Bless and keep you and have a fantastic weekend…

muah