What do we really want? - Semi Righteous Post Alert

So I read a blog that had mentioned this article http://jaylevanne.wordpress.com/2010/03/25/blackberry-version-lennys-10-sex-facts-tips/
You all should probably go read it and then come back......u back? Ok...

So I put it up on twitter & everybody reads it.....so all we girls just start going ga ga..."omygosh where is he?" "I want a man like that" & all that.....found out he lives in cali btw...ideaasss tooohhh baaaaddd, lol....ok I digress again 

But it got me thinking after all the dust settled about a couple things

1. He sounds like a player & someone who is not ready to settle down...which is all good, if you are still on that tip

2. could you ever really trust someone like that?....I’m mad trusting like I don't know how to not trust until you disappoint me...but right off  the bat, I can tell you I cannot trust a man like that

3. At the end of the day he has only told you about the sex part of him....can he have a conversation? About sports, music, politics, things that interest me?... he sounds charming enough to drop my pants for, but after that what else? What do we got?

My mum said I’m in love the other day because for the 1st time I told her I’m not getting any younger & she thinks BB has something to do with it....I am NOT in love, yet....but I meant it when I said I’m not getting any younger...not like I've had much sex to speak of, but after my first go go ga about boys who try to be all about what they can do to me sexually & there A LOT of them....I find that we have nothing to talk about, I find that they hold no promise of a future for me....Though I’m not ready for marriage right this minute, I’m just not the casual kind & I really don't think that a lot of females are that way... its just not in our genes....I could do it...but that’s with me making sure that I have detached my veejayjay(vagina, pussy) from my heart & if that’s the case WHEN it ends, i better be damn well able to deal with it & I’m not crying & all that jazz....

So you ask "what do you have to say to a young person reading this?".....I say you are better off single, till you are ready for commitment but it will sound like I’m preaching...I say that only because you need to define yourself as a person to see who you are, what you are made off, what strength you possess.... you will find relationships a whole lot easier, its what I will tell my sister if she asks me....I will tell her to be careful and get to know him very well...so that if you give yourself to him, it will not be something you regret (though I pray they both don't have sex till they marry)

Don't get me wrong either, I’m not preaching stay a virgin...that’s your cup of tea...I’m not one...I made a decision...swear down, I wrote down the pros & the cons, decided that I could live with the decision, went to the clinic got tested and did a pap smear, got condoms, lubricants & got on the pill....I’m a decision maker, I do absolutely nothing based on emotions #sueme ... I have recently decided that i don't want to sleep with the man I marry before marriage (watch me jump BB, when we meet)...decisions change too.... I will just hate for you to feel some kind of peer pressure to have sex, or for the guy to say the relationship won't work otherwise (tell him Neefemi said go JUMP & drown)... lets be honest there is always the double standard, so if u going to have sex, enjoy but try to keep the numbers low & do it with a guy that respects you, so that your business is never out there....let me tell you, if I used my mouth to tell you I slept with 20guys, you still wouldn't believe me & the guys couldn't convince u either... plus avoid doing guys in the same circle, girls forget that yes you are young & you can do all you want, you are sexually liberated & all, but its this same guys you are going to grow up with, the same ones who will be on the market, when its time to settle down and get married...all I’m saying is BE WISE!!!!

I can't tell you what all females want....but I can tell you what Neefemi wants

Conversation - about many different topics, teach me let me learn from you, & I will do the same....lets have discussions, lets agree to disagree, lets be passionate about our opinions without stepping on each others toes & then kiss afterwards :)

Laughter - I don't know if you have noticed, but I love to smile & laugh, not only you should you be a source of joy to me, you should know the things that bring joy to me, the minute & the grand things...its your job to know that

Passion - you have to have a certain lust for life....for what you do, what you want to do, ambition turns me on...you have to have a certain lust for me & what we have as well

Support - realize that I am a very independent chic, on my free will I choose to be with you & though I tend to be so calm in my relationship, know that I will still go after my dreams with ruthless abandon.... it will be great to have your support & your motivation to go with, the same way I will give you mines....you cannot be controlling, it will never work.....& I will promise to seek your opinion even though sometimes i might not heed to said opinion

And lastly but not least....

Honesty and trust = communication..... I mean I don't know what else to say you have to trust me, full stop. Trust in me. You have to be honest with me, even when things might hurt let me know, unless you are sure that this information will never get to me and the likelihood of that happening is zero to none, so trust me....all of this is mute if we don't have the best of communication...we talk to each other all the time....we will do it while we date & we will do it when we are married

So my question for you is what do you want? I’m talking to the single folks now....married folks already found that out (I hope)....make a point to define it, if you are younger it will change as you grow older and that’s ok and if you are older then you should know...be completely honest with yourself & so ladies if for example you need your man to be wealthy, that’s fine too....fellas if you need your woman to cook that’s totally fine....just don't think you are capable of changing the person, you are not God. 

Nways wasn't planning on writing anything anytime soon...but here we are :( ....see why my dad thinks I should be Oprah? i chat too much :(

Only Music Mondays from now on, no more deep thinking sturvs

blogs to check out:

http://www.stylehousefiles.com/

http://nuttyjennifer.blogspot.com/

http://goldinwords.com

http://griptime.blogspot.com/

http://24yearoldteenager.blogspot.com/
http://audeo-audeo.blogspot.com/

P.S worrying again, trying to remind myself that everything will be ok, i have no control over it and God has already ordained it and come September i will be in Connecticut....pray with me

P.P.S. I LOVE YOU