#MM - You name it :)

So it’s Sunday night, 9.38pm as I start this. I tried to sleep after cooking this wonderful meal and I can’t. I think it’s weird that I take so much pride in cooking, I don’t take pride in my looks,  my personality, my “successes” so far, even the fact that I’m somewhat of a decent writer and yet I take so much pride in cooking. I’m so backwards I tell you and I’m very bad, I take forever to cook cos everything has to be fresh, I take the most joy in cutting my ingredients all up and seeing how colorful they all look. Never mind that I can hardly eat what I cook, if I manage to eat it hours later, I may never eat it till it finishes. Yes I also think that its’ bad for females to not know how to cook (please forgive me) it’s just cos I enjoy it so much and o a guy that can cook, as in cook cook, ay papi, let’s get it ooonnn… lol, issues.
Just before i added the rice...i never want to add the rice, i just want to look at this all day :)

 

I’m watching Definitely, Maybe (such a great movie) and April ‘Isla Fisher’ says to Will ‘Ryan Reynolds’ “you don’t find love, love finds you” ain’t that the God Honest Truth. It’s hard if you are single and it seems like age is creeping up on you and your family members are on your neck and your friends are all getting married and having kids to believe that, but I really wish folks did believe this. There is so much peace from understanding this statement.

April also goes on to say “that there comes a time, a certain age where you just know’. You see what people fail to realize in this statement if you ask me and this is totally my opinion btw, I might be wrong & I already think I’m very naïve nways, is that for everybody that certain time is different i.e. for me it might be at 23, for you it might be at 18, for her it might be at 27. The other thing I think is that love is not enough, there is only one kind of love that is enough and that’s the Love of God, human love is not enough though, even if you love a person as fiercely as God loves you (highly impossible btw) there is trust, insecurity, external family members, pride, children, finances, respect, just plain ole you are not having a good day and you take it out on him/her and it becomes a thing, like are you getting my point here. Life happens and I wish people would understand that once the love comes, once the man or woman comes then, my darlings starts the real and I mean the really hard, studying engineering even though you are an artist seems easier, WORK.  Enough wisdom from me (sing with me IN MY MIND, lol)

I wrote a fashion piece for Allure magazine, if you picked up a copy of Vanguard Nigeria yesterday you might have seen my very long name in there. So I send in the article using Neefemi, why does my dad tell them to change it and use my complete full name, as in the one name is like 20 letters long, like seriously? Nways if you know anything about me the fact that I said fashion piece should have caused you to pause. I don’t do fashion, I don’t know fashion, I keep saying I don’t own any designer(s), so you already know I don’t know what’s in and what’s not. I did not enter the mall in the one year I have been in Houston and I haven’t even been shopping all year, like the last time I went to shop was sometimes last year. Nways I’m going to send in two more articles if I can get around to doing it tomorrow, who knows maybe there is about to be a change in my life. ilaugh heheheheheheheh

I have terrible memory, or maybe it’s just really selective, I mean I knew that part but I didn’t realize that how terrible it was, like how can I not remember that I spent the day with my brother at a Pistons game never mind that it was like 2yrs ago. I feel bad; I can’t rbr it at all. This is why pictures are important. There was a point in my life when I hated pictures, for the first 3years in this country, I could not be caught dead in a picture, it wasn’t happening. Then 2008 came, I lost so much weight, I had broken up with the useless boyfriend (yes I meant useless), graduated from college, dated somebody else, was broken up at the end of the year, lost friends, was so vain, it was just a weird  year , somehow pics made everything seem ok. I took pictures of everything; everyday, random pictures, some of those pictures the original cameras and computers are now long buried, but thank God for facebook. Which reminds me how do I extract all 60sumn albums from facebook? I no longer take pictures and not sure why as I am obviously happier. I haven’t taken a single picture with BB; we always talk about it once we are miles apart. Lol. I need a camera though, a great one.

I’m so mad at my friend right now; I just want to shake him. You know what I’m going to shut up cos I realize that I’m judgmental, overly ambitious and want so much for those I love, I project. I want to fight life’s battles for them and truth is I can’t, I can barely fight mines. I can just pray, I will just pray and hope to God he hears me on his behalf and his manifestation comes soon. P.s. I think that if you are suffering in one environment, you need to up and leave that environment completely, hopefully you can afford to do just that but sometimes even when you have nothing you need to take that leap of faith and just up. Going through the same struggles over and over and over again in one environment makes no sense to me and if you ask me is not in the plan of God for u.

 O I took off the nose ring for good today, I feel weird.  Nways on to the music.

I love this song, I’m not sure why. Just gets to me. So my Wedding Song. Bebe and Cece Winans – Close to You

Just saw this video via Muyiwa and if you ask me this is the best song, best video outta Nigeria in a min the sincerity in this song and how just regular it is gets me. Such a far cry from Lamborghini or other big cars, big booty, heavy makeup, party scenes, photo-shopped videos out there.

p.p.s i hate applying for jobs. sigh. pray for me people
p.p.p.s. I LOVE YOU :)